If all goes correctly, I will be on a boat when you read this. I’ve never scheduled a post in advance so you very well may not even see this until next year. I won’t know until next week because I’ll BE ON A BOAT, MOTHERFUCKERS!
Oh, shut up. You know “I’m On A Boat” is still funny, even after watching it for the 467th time. Also, the video reminds me that my husband absolutely hates it when I say “flippy floppies”. I say it in a weird voice and usually very loud and fast. Picture Adam Sandler saying “flippy floppies”, except with a Southern accent, and you pretty much have it. I’m saying it out loud right now, sitting all alone in my living room. Because I can.
I have a real treat for you creepers. Here’s the link to our ship camera:
Peek in periodically to see if you can catch my drunken ass taking an unplanned spill into the pool. Watch for the flash of magenta hair and the tragic loss of alcohol as I go under. Thank God there isn’t an audio option.
I will be scheduling a few posts to go up while I’m gone so check in to see what I’m up to. Think of it as blog sitting for me. Come in every couple days, read my mail, piss in my plants, rifle through my bedside table and medicine cabinet, drink my beer and order some Pay Per View. I’m counting on you.