Let David Beckham Know I’m A Free Woman Now

How was my weekend?  My weekend sucked big, hairy man balls.  It was sweet of you to ask, though.

We were supposed to go to the local high school football game on Friday night but at the last minute, Landon developed a headache so I stayed at home with him.  Gracie and E went to the out of town football game, only about 15 minutes away.  This happened.  I’m sorry it’s a bit blurry.  That’s probably due to my tears.


There will be consequences, you husband stealing, fugly child creating, shit weasel of an English whore!

Seriously, if you know David Beckham’s phone number, hook a jilted sister up.  This whole sordid affair really hurts but I ain’t got time to bleed!  Can you tell I just watched the original Predator tonight?  I did.

I hope y’all had a great weekend with no surprise bastard children from England.  If you did, please, please tell us all about in the comments.


  1. Could E please be my baby daddy? My life would be so much easier! Instead I have a space invader in my home, stalking me and saying he is there to spend time with the kids…No joke I have cameras in my home.

    He is coming in the afternoons to “watch” them for me until I get off work, instead of paying our fabulous sitter any more to do it. I turn on my cameras, then text to see how things are going…he tells me all about the fun stuff they are doing, while I am watching him sit in the chair with the TV roaring and the kids are in their respective rooms.

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