I’m Not OCD. I’m Gifted.

Who You Calling OCD?

My 16 year old son has Asperger’s Syndrome which I’m sure I’ll write about in more detail someday but today, there’s just this:


See the green soap? I’ve placed it on the sink because I have a soap order. Yeah, go ahead and tranq my crazy ass. I keep my hand soaps under the kitchen sink, to be used in order by season.

I’ll wait here until you can contain your uncontrollable laughter/contempt/jealousy.

It’s currently 35 degrees here yet obviously too late to use my “winter” soaps, too early to use my “spring” soaps. We’re in between seasons right now thus the green “filler” soap pictured above. It’s clearly much too early to be using fluffy, sweet pink soap named Pink Vanilla Macaron. Pink Vanilla Macaron makes me desperately want to hold a baby bunny wearing a pink sundress. I would be wearing the pink sundress, not the bunny. Just to be clear because that would just be stupid. Or possibly the cutest thing ever.

Pink Vanilla Macaron should not be on my kitchen counter yet it keeps reappearing everyday, taunting me like a Cadbury Creme Egg the day after Valentine’s Day. Although delicious, it is much too fucking early. Go home, Cadbury Creme Egg. You are drunk.

What does my son have to do with all this? He refuses to use my transitional green soap. He really likes Pink Vanilla Macaron and is totally usurping my tidy seasonal soap order authority every single day. He’s as staunchly for Pink Vanilla Macaron in late February/early March as I am against it. I put Pink Vanilla Macaron back in wait, he returns it to the counter. This dance has continued for a week now.

I should let it slide, you say? Pick your battles and be the adult, huh? All fine and good but where does this madness stop? Where does this slippery soap slope lead? It leads to Coconut Lime in April! April, damn it!  I mean, I just can’t.  I can’t.

At this point, it’s a draw on who’s more OCD, me or my son, but I do know this: The Nurture or Nature Debate is making me its bitch right now.

What’s your freakish, umm, favorite organizational skill? Tell me in the comments below and help me feel somewhat normal. As if that’s even possible.