florida

Alabama Football Gave Me STD

alabama

If you’re watching the Alabama vs Florida football game right now, you know that the Florida defense has caused three turnovers.  Three.  Two of those times has resulted in Florida getting points on the board.

At this point in the game, every time our offense has the ball, I curl into the fetal position (no joke) and half scream, half cry “Hold onto the damned ball!”

I am a nervous wreck.  I’m so flustered, I just told E “I have STD!  I’m going to be at dinner tonight and suddenly scream “Hold onto the damned ball!”

As soon as I saw E’s face, I realized what I said.  He laughed and said I had to write a post about it.

Of course, I meant Alabama is going to give me a case of PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  But who knows?  I still may get a STD by the end of the day.

God willing, Alabama will hold onto the damned ball for the rest of the game and we will prevail but if you hear screaming at 3 a.m., it’s just me and my STD, yelling “HOLD ONTO THE DAMNED BALL, BAMA”!

Y’all have a great weekend.  Roll Damned Tide!

I Want A Vagician And A Vagina Cake, Damn It!

So I ran across this completely epic piece of marketing brilliance today.  I’ll just let y’all enjoy this is as is, with no commentary.  Yep.  I respect it that much.

Hope y’all had a great week!